She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
