Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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