your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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