You can't special order awesome
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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