**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
