Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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