His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
