I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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