I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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