doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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