I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
