I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
