pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
