i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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