so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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