So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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