I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Oh god it's open bar.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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