It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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