im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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