this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think my vagina is haunted
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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