Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
