Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
