Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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