I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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