According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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