How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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