am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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