their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
