Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
