I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
