An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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