the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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