She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
