just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
