I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
