At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
