There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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