so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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