i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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