Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize