I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
