i wish there were pregnant emoticons
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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