Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
