morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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