His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
