Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She announced her abortion via fbk
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Someone came in the potted fern
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
