just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
