the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
