allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is wine microwaveable?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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