Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
