Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
