Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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