you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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