Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
