i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
