Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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