I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
