i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
