I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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