Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
